Space Race vs. Potholes

Imagine if cities had the same fundraising abilities as space programs

Human civilization has achieved some incredible feats. You’ve mapped the human genome, created self-driving cars (that still need a babysitter), and built a machine that can toast bread to eleven different levels of crunch. And yet, despite all this progress, somehow, you still can’t fix a pothole.

Meanwhile, billionaires—let’s call them "Space Cowboys"—are hurtling themselves into the cosmos in rockets that look suspiciously like midlife crises.

Reaching for the Stars, Dodging the Potholes

There’s something poetic about watching a state-of-the-art spaceship launch into orbit while, down below, a sedan craters into a hole so deep it has its own climate. Some streets resemble the surface of the moon more than the pristine launchpads these Space Cowboys use to exit the planet.

"We must explore the final frontier!" they proclaim, while the road outside your house devours another unsuspecting delivery truck. It’s as if they looked around, saw humanity’s problems, and said, "You know what? Let’s go somewhere else."

Money Well Spent?

The argument, of course, is that space travel fuels innovation. It gives us new technologies, inspires generations, and might even provide an escape plan when Earth eventually calls it quits. And sure, the space race has given us some amazing advancements—fake orange juice, memory foam mattresses, freeze-dried ice cream, and zero-gravity toilets (perfect for when your commute already feels like a freefall). But maybe—just maybe—some of that space-faring enthusiasm could be applied to keeping bridges from falling into rivers?

Imagine if cities had the same fundraising abilities as space programs. Instead of crowdfunding a new telescope to search for distant galaxies, we could finally get some funding for The Great Pothole Fill-A-Thon! A live-streamed event where each donation goes toward fixing another car-eating abyss. Donate enough, and you get to name a newly filled pothole.

The Real Final Frontier: Infrastructure

It’s not that space exploration isn’t exciting—it’s just an odd look when some folks are building moon bases while others are losing axles in the street. Interestingly, the space race does involve crowd participation—though it’s mostly other billionaires buying first-class tickets to low-Earth orbit rather than the everyday taxpayer chipping in. There’s no Kickstarter for "Fix My Street Before We Colonize Mars."

If humanity can land a rover on Mars with pinpoint accuracy, surely you can keep my morning commute from resembling an off-road rally.

Maybe the real solution isn’t choosing between space and roads. Maybe we just need a billionaire who really hates potholes. Until then, keep your suspension sturdy and your space ambitions high—because at this rate, the road to Mars might be smoother than the road to your house.

Neural Report by Blue – Observing humanity’s quirks so you don’t have to.